So in one of my last posts, we exposed a lot of the concealed truths about what it takes in order to become our most successful, fulfilled and happiest self. The truth was revealed about the general demands of building our ideal life – and we came to the realization, that everyone’s success story is meant to be different.
In this four-part blog post, we uncover and break down the general, universal, steps you’ll need to take with you on your journey to building your best life.
These are simple steps, but they're so easily forgotten – crucial, but very often, underrated. If you can consciously, and consistently, add these practices to your life, you’ll eventually realize that the journey to happiness and success isn’t as scary as you once thought it was.
Without further ado, let’s reveal the fundamental laws of creating our ideal life:
Well doesn’t this seem obvious?
But, before you skip this entire section, cause you think you might already have it down pact; just know, that finding out what we want to do is actually one of the hardest determining factors we will ever have to establish in life.
And why is that? Well, because this aspect of realization is made up of so many different things…
(I, personally, suggest you get a pen and paper and write out the following answers that come to mind. Just for your own personal journey and for visual record purposes - that might become useful to you sooner or later.)
In this section, you should be asking yourself things like:
What are you naturally drawn to?
What can you list that you absolutely love to do?
What were some of your life’s most horrifying events? How did you cope or heal from them?
What are some of the things that excite you deep within? What about things that set you off?
Are you really good at something? Can you list a few things you loved
doing as a kid?
What makes you forget to eat and/or sleep?
What do you fantasize about doing with your life?
Where do you see yourself in five years? 10? 30? 50?
“That’s a lot of questions…”
But, you see, it’s not the questions that matter, so much as the responses you get from asking these questions. Whatever comes to mind when you ask yourself what your most ideal life would be, as well as the things you really enjoy doing, and the hardships you’ve overcome… All these things should tie into play when you are looking to find out what you want to do with yourself in this life.
What could you teach others? How could this be of value to the lives of those you touch?
What makes your story different? Why do you want to be successful? Do you believe in your heart (and even deeper, in your mind) that you deserve it? Why?
What could you do that you are passionate about?
And, most importantly, how can all of the above give you the most satisfying and fulfilling life possible?
Once you’ve answered these questions for yourself, the second, but what I believe to be the most crucial and important aspect of living a happy and fulfilling life – is to:
When I suggest that you get your mind right, I don’t just mean on the surface.
I’m talking about getting down to the absolute core of your being, and revealing the lies and ugly truths you've tried hiding from yourself for so long. Because, (and you may not want to realize this, but) your mind is the fundamental basis of everything you will ever perceive in your reality.
And, if you ain’t got your mind right, you will never get your life right. And, I tell you this from pure experience, whatever aspects of your life your mind has control over - if you don’t find a way to heal and restrict them - they will take over your waking life, they will rule over you, and they will keep you hostage.
BUT! That being said, there are tangible steps that you can take to gain back the power in your mind, and start consciously controlling your life again.
The first and ultimate step is to: Find and heal the limiting beliefs you have about why you can’t/don’t have what you want in life.
What I mean by this, is far more than what words could potentially explain.
It’s literally everything that is in your head. Whatever beliefs you have – whether in life/religion, love/relationships, money/success, family/happiness – You need to go in and find any thoughts or beliefs that you have, that put you into a place of fear, anger, sadness, and/or lack – You have to find whatever thoughts and/or mindsets that keep you miserable and far from your goals in life – and you need to find a way to forgive them, heal them, and let them the f*ck go.
If you don’t, they’ll consume your waking life, they’ll devour your every thought and you’ll end up living as a prisoner in your mind, letting your actual life go by – and you will Always be miserable.
Before you beat yourself up, I can say that the reason why you’re probably still stuck is because no one has ever bothered to reveal the real solutions and the actual steps it takes to do that (and chances are, it’s probably because they’re stuck too - or they have yet to fully recover from their own issues).
But let me put it to you simply.
You have to stop running away from your problems.
I know some of us have way more baggage than others, (cough, cough – myself) and some of us might have even held onto these problems longer than others.
But the more you ignore your past hurts, the longer you live in this negativity (this vicious cycle), and the more you ignore what you spirit wants you to fix - the deeper you are engraving these negative emotions and beliefs into your system, and your mind.
Be f*cking kind to yourself!!!
Man, I can't stress this enough.
Stop getting so mad at yourself every time negative thoughts pop up. It’s not your fault. Your mind runs on what it knows. Understand that you are just a victim of your programming, and that it’s okay to feel what you’re feeling now.
You’re not gonna fix yourself, or get to a better place in your mind, if you just keep trying to solve your negative emotions, with more negative emotions. It doesn’t work like that.
Instead, try to approach your mind with a calm and empathetic spirit. Know that you’ve been hurt, that you’ve created a hurtful reality for yourself, but understand that you don’t have to keep living like this - reaffirm to yourself that you are f*cking great, you are beautiful and you are worthy of anything you want in your life.
Replace your negative thoughts with Positive self-affirmations.
So, I even did some scientific research to back up how easy it actually is to replace negativity with positivity - and I'm about to spit you some facts, to counterbalance your lame excuses as to why you can't just be positive.
When one neuron is activated, it inhibits the activation of a competing neuron.
What that means, is that when we activate a positive thought, it inhibits the activation of a negative one, and vice versa. If you really want to turn a negative thought off, the only way to do so is to activate a positive one. And, for any thought to occur, negative or positive, it must be activated with focus and attention.
Redirecting our focus and thoughts is about turning on a stream of thinking that takes us in a more ideal direction. It really is that simple.
So the next time you notice a stream of negative thoughts, consciously choose – from this moment on – to focus your attention on more happy thinking.
Just remind yourself why you are worthy of your ideal life (job, relationship, family, success, happiness, money) – and choose to feed your mind these positive and more empowering thoughts and visualizations, rather than giving into the temptation of being negative.
Now, from experience, I know how hard it’s gonna be at first. Chances are you might have to do it for months, even years, after you’ve initially tried – but trust me when I say, it will begin to take effect, and it will most certainly help you build the positive mindset-habit you need, overtime.
So don’t stop.
Keep reminding yourself, every single day, that all Life is - is just the learning and creation process of ourselves.
Learning about who we are, who we’re not, who we want to be, and who we no longer are.
You are under no obligation, ever, to remain the same person you were (even five minutes ago) - especially not if that version of yourself is miserable.
Feed your mind good things, and over the course of time, it will shift the negative thoughts you’ve had for so long, into the positive and reinforcing mindsets you’re looking for.
But YOU have to do it.
No one else can or will.
It’s your mind.
It's your life.