The Unseen Staircase to Success – and Breaking down its Steps Part4

Welcome to the Final Post of this 4-Piece Insight called: The Unseen Staircase to Success – And breaking down its steps.

In this post, our main focus is to dissect the few, but vital, techniques we can use to Simplify our mindsets. We analyze how we can build the positive mindset(s) we're looking for, and completely discard the rest, and we also look deeper into the concept of creating an unbiased belief system that is unique to us. Find out a little more about the small actions you can take to develop a daily routine that makes you happy, and just how you can take those small steps towards becoming your most confident and liberated self

Step One:


A few days ago, I was scrolling down my timeline, and I came across a post that when I read the quote in the picture, I immediately felt a sensation of anxiety rush over me. For some reason, a part of my mind made this quote resonate with me, and so I went on believing what this picture said. The post said something like ‘What is stronger than the human heart, which shatters over and over – and still lives.’ – and, even though, it didn’t make me feel good whatsoever, I latched onto the quote, with the belief that hearts are meant to break, and I went the rest of my day upset at the thought that my heart might, one day, shatter. I spent the next few hours mad at the world, and the people around me, because this one quote told me (and I came to believe) that love isn’t meant to last.

You see,

I’m not sure if you know this, or not, but I am currently in a very, VERY happy, long-term relationship. My heart isn’t broken. My love isn’t at risk. On top of that, I’m probably the happiest I’ve ever been, in my life. There is no real basis for me to worry about my relationship, or that I should even think that my heart is gonna break. 

So why latch onto a belief that made me feel powerless? 

Why, on Earth, would I choose to incorporate a belief, in my mind, that didn’t make me happy, or feel good?

I knew there was no truth to this quote, according to my current life.

More importantly, I know that I'm happy and that my partner really loves me.

So why cave into believing something that made me miserable?

Well, believe it, or not – I am most certainly not the only person, on the planet, that does this.

Isn’t it absurd, that most of us latch onto these same types of limiting beliefs? Mindsets that make us feel small, powerless and out of control.

Why would I even keep a belief system that didn’t empower me to feel good and excited about life?

This being said, one of the hardest – yet simplest steps we can take towards building our mental strength and developing the proper mindset for success and happiness – is to let go of beliefs that control us, and make us feel like a hostage.

I say 'Simple' because, in words, that’s exactly what it is; it's just choosing not to identify with beliefs that keep us miserable and powerless – but Hard, because it’s the action that is forcing us to go against our current mindsets and unconscious beliefs, that is one of the most difficult things we’ll ever have to do, in order to achieve happiness.

But, if we choose every time we start to believe in a thought, quote, opinion or explanation that makes us feel scared, sad, down or upset – if we simply make the choice to remind ourselves, that we don’t have to take it, we don’t have to incorporate these miserable thoughts into our belief system; we would have a much easier time replacing these beliefs, with thoughts, words, and actions that aligned themselves with what we truly want.

Another quote, that I read not too long ago, and since then, held onto dearly – was that: ‘If it doesn’t feel good to you, it’s probably cause it’s not meant for you.’

And before twisting it into something that makes you feel low – why not mold it into what could empower you?
Like if by thinking something, you don’t feel good about it – it’s probably because your 'being' doesn’t think it's aligned your desired life.
Here’s a more tailored example, though – If, on the day I read that quote that made me feel scared about love, I had, instead, chosen to affirm to myself that: not all hearts are meant to break, that this author’s perspective is different from mine, and that I am not damned to this person’s broken heart – I would have most likely felt much better and could have gone about my day much differently.

So, that’s why I said that this is simple but hard.
Because we believe so many things, unconsciously.

We, unknowingly, incorporate beliefs that make us feel powerless. And, unfortunately, most of us are so far deep into our own beliefs, that we have absolutely no clue, that we don’t even have to hold onto these limiting thoughts.

We can just let go of them, and choose each time, to affirm to ourselves something that is more aligned with what we want.


Let's say someone offers you a meal (or drink) that you don’t like, or that doesn’t make you feel good. Do you take it? Or do you leave it?

Do this for your thoughts and beliefs.

It's that simple.

Next time, you find yourself, unconsciously hooking onto a thought or belief, that you also noticed makes you feel upset inside – stop yourself there, and start inhibiting those negative beliefs, by replacing them with positive thoughts.
The more you feed your mind these happy thoughts, with focus – the more they will become a belief system. So choose to add positive, empowering beliefs into your head – and stop thinking that you can’t do anything about it. 

This next section is a hugely influential factor in how our belief system gets built. It’s a crucial piece of advice when you are determining what you let in and out of your life.


I tell you this, because, by mistakes, I also mean that – you are not their story.

In my first blog post, we determined that everyone’s story is meant to be different. What makes up their life story – is the totality of all their experiences (good and bad), all their lessons, rises and falls, all their mistakes, all their beautiful love stories, and heartbreaks; the sum of all their thoughts and beliefs, based on their successes and traumas…

And that is entirely based on their unique story. Not yours.

So when I advise you, that you are not the sum of anyone’s story – what I am really trying to say is that: You are 110% in control of who you want to be in this life and do not let anyone, ANYONE convince you otherwise.

If you truly want something, don’t let ANYONE talk you out of it. Whether that be a person, a relationship, a job, an experience, a decision you have to make, or even an investment – if you want it, take it. If you don't, don't. Don't let anyone influence your final decision. It's yours to make.


Why? Because everyone’s opinion is biased. Everyone’s experience is different. You have the responsibility to do what you know, in your heart, you want for yourself in life.

If you let anyone influence your decisions, or make them for you, you will be living an existence of potential ‘what if’s, and regrets.

This is your life.

Even if, after the decision(s) you made, things don’t turn out well (or the way you wanted them to), at least you’ll know you stayed true to your heart, and to yourself. You’ll have learned a lesson for the future, and most importantly of all, you’ll have done what you wanted to do, and got the experience you wanted to have.

People do things on their own terms, and entirely based on their own story – so once you know that, you’ll have an easier time doing it for yourself. If people get truly offended, just remember – it’s because they’re solely based in their own reality. It doesn't actually have anything to do with you.


Before you go off, making impulsive decisions... Please, don’t get me wrong. With this piece of advice – you, now, have a huge responsibility in your hands. With this insight, you need to know how to make the smart/right decisions.
Try to put yourself in your future self’s place when making any choice or decision in life, because the truth of the matter is that: every action has a reaction.

And, if you want to be in harmony with the (con)sequence of action that best aligns itself with your ideal result, just think before you act, and act on what you truly want.

Now that we’ve established two vital components of building the best belief system for happiness and success, which is determining what we want, and don’t want in our belief system – and we've also broken down how not to take other people’s perspective too seriously. Let’s go one step further, and add both of these together.


Life philosophies often get out of hand when we tie too many inconsistent perspectives into our belief system, and worst of all, when we start putting other people’s beliefs before our own.

This is why there is generally (ha, always) a conflict of interest in the topic of Religion. Because there are too many perspectives and stories to hold accountable, and we forget that everyone’s philosophy is unique and valid to their own story.

Your belief is your belief. Your philosophy is your philosophy. Your religion is your religion. And biggest of all, your God is your God.

And if it empowers you to live this life well and happily, if it inspires you to have faith and find strength in yourself, and if it teaches you to do good for yourself and others – then there shouldn’t be anything to debate about, ever.

When there are too many limiting and complex beliefs in our system, we begin to feel like characters in a story, rather than the author of our own life. This is what drives the feeling of powerlessness, and out-of-control-ness, and therefore what keeps us in upset and misery.
It's exactly what makes the topics of religion and life philosophy, the perfect examples for proving why it is extremely crucial that we simplify our beliefs and keep them unique to us.


If you believe in (a, or) God, or if you believe in science or the Universe; whatever your current philosophy on Life, you know that Life has always been, and will always be what you want (or think) it to be. Everyone’s philosophy is different because everyone’s life different.

Whatever you believe in, it just wants you to live a happy and fulfilling existence.
Whatever, to you, is the creator of the entire universe - trust me when I tell you that it’s got way to too much to f*ckin ‘worry’ about, to just sit there and tell you what to do with your life.

Don't get too caught up becoming dependent on exterior forces, that you forget to be the force, and take responsibility for your life.

Keep your philosophy simple, or it will start controlling your life. The more complicated beliefs you add, the more things will cease to add up. You’ll be lost and confused, and you will always look for power outside of yourself, when all along, the power is you.

So the last major piece of advice I can give you, in this post, is to simply:


Do the things that make you feel good.

At this point, you’ve gotten rid of the beliefs and mindsets that don’t empower you, and you’ve replaced them with thoughts and affirmations that make you feel happy. You’ve even simplified these mindsets into positive and clear thoughts.
You understand that the things you do, in life, should always be true to you and that you should limit what you accept, in actions and beliefs, from other people.

What there's left to do, in order to be as happy and clear-minded as possible – is just to do the things that you enjoy doing.

Whether that be: Reading, dancing, singing, speaking, or video games. Or taking pictures, writing, knitting, even drawing. If you enjoy building things, cleaning, shopping, or cooking; simply set more time aside for them in your daily routine.
Do the things that really, really make you feel happy inside.

Be careful not to mix them up with things that you 'enjoy' doing as a form of escapism – and just hold, dearly, the things that naturally, make you feel at ease. This will drastically change your life, and it's by simply adding a few actions a day, that will make you feel happy to be alive.


Altogether, there are simple steps that we can take, each and every day – that will lead us in our ideal direction. And I know I said these steps are simple, but by no means did I say they were easy.
They’re not. But what they are is worth it.

And if you can make the conscious effort and choice every day to incorporate these new, positive habits into your life – over the course of time, they will become much easier to access effortlessly.

But you have to keep doing them. You can’t give up, and you most certainly can not fall back into the temptation of sabotaging your life with negative beliefs.

Embrace and create the belief systems that make you feel good, the thoughts that keep you feeling happy and inspired.
Simplify the beliefs that make you feel jittery and excited about what is yet to come, and discard completely those that scare you or make you feel powerless.

Remember that this is your life, and no one else should ever tell you how to live it; but that being said, make the right decisions for yourself. Think before you make your choices, because all your thoughts & actions, in life, can ultimately lead you to where you want to be, or where you don’t.
And finally, just do the things that make you feel happiest. They don’t have to be huge, but small things that you can do, and incorporate into your routine, that make you feel happy to be alive.

Sarah ELLEComment