Success Depends on your Level of Confidence & Self-Esteem. Here's What You Need To Know.
Hello, my beauties!
It is a fantastic day for a blog post about Self-Esteem!
In spite of this article taking me over a week, and a lot of tears, to write, I believe that the topic is important to talk about because I know there are people out there who are in need of this kind reminder.
Although this blog post is more-or-less tailored to how your self-esteem will influence your level of success, I’m also sharing with you the exercises I’ve been practicing to help you boost your confidence.
Over the last week, I’ve come to understand that there are three actual levels of self-esteem that will influence your state of productivity, happiness, fulfillment, and well… success, in life.
Believing you can do it.
Believing you deserve it.
Believing you will get it.
And, as opposed to simply stating that “success is a state of mind,” that you need the “millionaire mindset,” or whatever other baloney they’ve been telling you about how you need to “believe it to achieve it,” I thought it would be a better idea to speak the actual truth about the correlation between your degree self-esteem and your level of accomplishments, happiness, satisfaction, and yes, success.
To begin, how many of you believe in yourselves enough to know that you can reach your accomplishments?
By that, I mean how many of you “believe you can DO IT.”
I want you to put your mind to work to find what you are good at and what you truly believe your success can be built on? Start finding the little things you naturally excel at.
When you can list (from a place of knowing) about ten, or more, things you’re really good for (whether it’s making people laugh, caring for others, if you’re really good at a specific task or skill, if you have the ability to turn shit into gold, or make something from scratch) whatever it is.
Ask yourself to find ALL the little things you’re good at, that you’re special for, or anything that comes to mind as to what you know your success is (or will be) built on. The more, the merrier.
These traits about you should stay at the forefront of your mind as you pursue your dreams. They will be the fuel that inspires you to create. They will become the mindset necessary to get you through your challenges, and most of all, they will be your personal, unshakeable resume for any endeavour you decide to embark.
The more you know and cultivate the reasons why YOU CAN DO IT, the easier you’ll set yourself up for success.
Believing you deserve it.
What makes anyone “deserving” of success, or deserving of anything for that matter?
Don’t we all have an innate worthiness, or right, for the things we desire?
The “answer” I found was that “Yes. We do.” We are all unboundedly worthy and deserving of all that we want in life; be that success, happiness, a new car, or whatever.
But you see, that’s not enough. What separates our birth-right worthiness and embodying the success we’re worthy of, is our belief of whether we deserve it, or not.
That’s the answer.
If you want that success, by natural state of the universe, you deserve it.
BUT! Do you believe you deserve it?
If you don’t, you’ll never strive for it.
If you don’t believe you deserve to be whatever you want to be, you’ll live your life shackled in the belief that you don’t deserve your dreams and, by effect of that cause, you’ll continue to limit yourself to what you dream, what you pursue, and (ultimately) what you achieve.
So, how do you “BELIEVE YOU DESERVE IT?”
For one, even if, at the pit of your being, you don’t believe you deserve success – I know you do believe you are worthy of something.
Start with that, list the things you already know you deserve, in life. You deserve a home, food on the table. You deserve love, caring, and good vibes.
If you really want to self-esteem your way to knowing you deserve whatever “it” may be, you have to do it from a place of belonging. You belong, and therefore innately deserve whatever you desire.
The difference between belonging and fitting it, is that belonging demands you to show up as you are (imperfect and all,) and you will naturally provide value by simply being there.
Fitting in, on the other hand, stems from not feeling confident with who you are and what you provide, and therefore “changing yourself” or acting out of “should, or must” in order to feel accepted.
So, you see. The difference between believing, and not believing, that you deserve success – is if you are acting from a place of changing yourself to be successful, or showing up, confident with what you’ve got and knowing that you provide intrinsic value, no matter what it is you’re working with.
If your self-esteem, in believing you deserve your success, needs some work – I highly encourage you to start with Believing you can do it (by finding every little thing that you can do, are great for, and have to offer) and then working on coming to know that those very characteristics about you are absolutely good enough.
I don’t think there’s specific instructions for how you get there. You just gotta know that whatever you’re coming with is good enough, and then working on expanding and believing that.
Which brings me to the last point:
Believing you will get it.
This was hands-down the hardest lesson for me to learn. Not only having had to start from scratch in learning my value, and working on my self-esteem, I also had to learn that I deserve whatever I am asking for…. AND, ON TOP OF THAT, now learn to believe that by all defying odds, I will get it?!
The truth is, no matter how far we come in the two prior lessons, we must master all three of these beliefs before we see any results in our life.
Now, as a side note, I just want to reveal that this blog post has literally taken me a week to write, so far.
I’ve stopped, practiced, and learned over and over again until I’ve found myself here, writing the rest of the post.
Hands down, this is the most important of them all.
Because it’s true. The first two points will need a lifetime of practice. But, if you can master this belief, even before being at the absolute peek of your confidence, you will see the results.
BUT! Behold, this is the most difficult limitation to transcend, as most of humans are living in the opposing mentality.
Believing you will get, arrive, or receive your success comes from a place of total surrender. Not only to ourselves, but whatever the f*ck else is out there.
I was able to recognize the state of my self-esteem (the most) when I arrived to the place of facing my inability to accept and fully receive my success.
Whether it came from not truly knowing my worth, not knowing if I deserved it, or simply any other underlying factor that could impose a limit on what I believed I could achieve; when the moment finally came where I had to believe that the sum of ALLLLLLL my efforts was enough…. It still wasn’t enough.
I didn’t believe I would receive it. I didn’t… or, maybe I still don’t believe I will get, attain, or reach the success that I am working for.
And, there, ladies and gentlemen, lies the ONLY limitation that will EVER hold you back, even if you have mastered every inch of every area of your life.
If you don’t believe you’ll see it, you won’t.
So, how do we work on this belief Believing you will get it?
I think this exercise is more about releasing, letting go, and breaking down the limitations you’ve set upon yourself than it is about building up your self-esteem.
It’s more about letting go of the veil you’ve put up against yourself, letting go (and working through) all the lame beliefs you’ve built up against yourself… releasing all the explanations, thoughts, reasons, or ideas that limit you from just seeing and receiving what you deserve.
Beliefs are hard to build, and even harder to tear down. From what I’ve learned about the correlation between self-esteem and success is that you have to believe you have what it takes to be successful. You have to believe that you deserve to be successful (no matter what shitty beliefs you may currently have that tell you otherwise). And, you have to believe that by all defying odds, you’ll receive the success you want; no matter what your mind might be trying to convince is impossible.
I think this is where a lot of the lessons in Self-esteem come from. You have to surrender to yourself… and, surrender to what is bigger than you, to know that whatever you’ve done will be enough to get what it is you’re asking for.
I hope this lesson was of good use to you, out there.