Stop complaining and Start taking ownership!
Welcome back to another very valuable lesson with me, Sarah Elle. I wanted to write this post as a visual commitment to myself to STOP complaining about what's wrong in my life and start focusing on all the good things that I am in charge of.
To be honest, the last couple of days felt like I was about to hit the “Square 1” button again. With the Autumn equinox in full harvest, this has been a time of reset, release, and realignment for me. I've noticed the areas of my life where all my work is finally paying off (thank you harvest season.) While other parts of my life are starting to look like crunchy leaves falling off my tree.
...Like my resurfacing doubts, for instance.
Over the last few days I've truly become aware of the last-minute residue of all my summer's efforts in healing, and I'm noticing that some unconscious complaints are coming up... things I thought I already handled.
For example, I'm catching myself complaining about way too many little things, like why my hubby can't just do the dishes, why life still doesn't seem to ALWAYS work in my favor and tiny little doubts about whether or not I'll ever make it.
So, here's what I want to share with you today.
Stop complaining, my dear. Especially about the little things. There's a little (annoying) voice inside your head that will never be happy about anything, and when you listen to that sucker, you will never be happy either.
Like, does it matter if your partner doesn't ALWAYS make you coffee? Do you truly care about what that other person has done or achieved? Because the truth is, if you're too busy staring at all the shortcomings in your life, you're just taking your attention off the amazing things that are happening right before your eyes!
A couple of days ago, I was worrying about whether or not I'd ever get my overnight success moment. What started as a minor doubt, quickly escalated to a full-out pity party. AND THE NUMBERS WERE TURNING IN! I was experiencing everything I wanted, but because I was so focused on, not what was happening but, that little voice in my head that just loves to complain about everything, I couldn’t see any of that.
So, here's what I commit to myself.
My life, my ownership.
If you're unhappy about something, get off your butt and do it yourself. If you want to write that book, but you're always complaining about how you never have time to get started, no one is accountable but you!!!
You want to know how you don't write a book (or, get what you want for that matter?)
By sitting around and complaining about how you're not where you want to be. Or, spending way too much time trying to perfect everything that you never create authentic pieces. By focusing on how the next author or writer is better than you, that you don’t even write a single word.
By waiting around and watching useless TV shows. Or, sitting on your butt and watching the day go by. You'll never write that book if you're too busy planning each outline that you never just write what comes to your mind. WRITE WHATEVER YOU WANT TO SAY! Even if it doesn’t look perfect, or sound perfect. Just write from your voice and simply state what you want to say.
Do you want to know how that business of yours will never get launched?
If you spend more time talking about it (or, talking about how impossible it is) than actually getting to it. If you wait until you (or your kids) are gone to bed, or finished soccer practice, or graduating college, OR HAVING KIDS OF THEIR OWN!
Do you want to know how you don't reach your goal physique?
By sitting around and eating, instead of doing a couple of squats. By waiting for the perfect moment where you finally feel energetic or confident enough to just get to the gym.
You wanna know the most sure-tell way to make sure you never get what you want?
BY COMPLAINING ABOUT IT! By playing shitty scenarios, over and over again, in your head until your paralyzed and can't move anything! By spending more time focusing on your (or your loved ones) shortcomings than just watching yourself and telling yourself you got what it takes.
So, I explained to you that complaining is the number one way to watch your whole life crumble before you, even if you have it all.
If you want to see the results you're looking for, just get to it and tell yourself you've already got it.
Things don't have to be perfect, but they will always be real. Don't get caught up in the voice in your head telling you things need to be a certain way before you get started or you can finally be happy. Instead, work with what you've got and show gratitude for already having it.
I watched my whole life fall apart yesterday because I thought that complaining-voice in my head was me. It's not. I watched my beautiful, happy, perfectly-imperfect life crumble before my eyes as I gave way too much energy and focus to the voice telling me things aren't good enough, that I ended up causing damage that honestly wasn't there.
So, yes. It's a hole we sometimes fall into, but here is your way out. FUCK THAT VOICE. Don't listen to anything telling you your life isn't good enough, and just focus on what you want while knowing if you want it - it’s already yours. BELIEVE that you already have what you're looking for, especially when that assh*le comes in trying to ruin your day.
And, most importantly, if there is something you're unsatisfied with, the only way you'll take ownership over it and embody the power that you need to get where you want to be, IS BY NOT COMPLAINING ABOUT IT and just getting to work on it.
Alright little Sarah's, I gave you one heck of a lesson here. I hope you'll stop thinking so much about what you want, what you don't have, and that you just get to it. I'm proud of you for what you've already accomplished, and for the raw authenticity of your effort. No one has done what you've done, and I want you to know that.
But, Now. You've got something big to do, I can feel it. Take it one moment at a time, one little step at a time. And baby, you got this!!!!