Turning inward for answers First.

Hey everybody!

I’m on a ROLL! Ever since I learned how to write from my heart just about a week ago, I have been writing non-stop ever since. I’m just creating what I need to hear from myself and sharing the light I find with others. I ask myself questions and find my answers... And, just as you might have thought, that is the topic of this blog post. 

Tell the truth, I’ve had some difficulties in the past when it came to asking and finding my answers. Probably like all of us, I’m wondering what I’m doing here. Where did I come from? What am I here for? And the endless scroll of potential questions I could ask from the moment I could think to the day I die.

What I realized from finally being able to think for myself, is that for a long time I turned to others to answer my questions for me. 

Sometimes seeking guidance is the only thing you can do. I mean, I wouldn’t have learned 1+1, or the word for the color purple, if not for the teachers who could answer that for me. 

But as time goes on, you’ll soon find out that not all answers are meant for you. Especially not other people’s answers. 

So, here’s my background on that. Not that I’m going to judge my childhood, because thank God what happened happened, but the way I saw it in the past was that while I was growing up some of my important decisions were made for me. 

Like I said, thank god my family kept me away from certain people, and made conscious decisions for me, while I lived in a time I couldn’t always do it myself. I didn’t always see it that way, though. I saw it differently. And, from that, I ended up creating this weird little, hidden habit of seeking the answers to all my life’s decisions outside of myself. In other words, everyone had “my” answers but me. 

From asking how to live my life to finding my meanings to my questions, my every interpretation of the world seemed to come from outside of me. Never within. 

And, so it took me on a lot of interesting detours. 

Worrying that I was in the wrong thing for the wrong reasons, or attaching meaning to ideas that never fully resonated; eventually, I grew sick and tired of never having my answers. 

So I did this funny little thing called “turning within myself” for all my questions and answers.

And boy did I have a field day. 

At first, I didn’t trust myself. Deeply. I had this horrible fear that I didn’t know what was best for me, and I didn’t know what I wanted. For a while, I kept a slight balance between asking myself first and looking on Google second. It was difficult. But it sure as hell beat total dissatisfaction. 

And then, slowly but surely, I could ask myself questions and wait to get the right answer. It took a while for me to get what I was looking for, but it progressed from doing hours of research to reach a single conclusion for a very simple question. 

Finally. I built a relationship and inner dialogue with myself strong enough to know that my brain knew more than I anticipated and that I had a pretty infinite reserve of information and wisdom... somewhere in there. It took me about 9 months (maybe a whole lifetime, I’m not sure) to set up the neural networks and command my subconscious to answer my questions. 

And, now, I stand here, today. I can tell you that the mind is some pretty powerful shit, and that there’s no place quite like home... within yourself. I’ll vow that it’s worth turning to yourself first because your mind knows everything about you.

Yes, I still turn to my mom, my dad, my grandparents and loved ones for the important information that lies beyond me. But, I promise you, I’m not looking to them for my answers. 

I realized that they mean the best for me, and all the answers they try to give is just to see me happy. 

But no one knows what makes you happy. Certainly not as much as yourself!!

Your brain knows all your patterns and dreams, all your wants and beliefs, and all the experiences and memories that make you, you. In your infinite storehouse of you, you, and more you; nobody knows what’s best for you aside from YOU and YOURSELF! (P.S: In case you didn’t get enough you, here’s some more YOU.)

On the record, the brain might need some focus, self-analysis, and some space to work its magic. But put down some clear, visual pointers (like writing things down, and giving it as much detail as possible) and it will connect the dots to help you get exactly what it is you’re looking for. 

Now the last thing I want to share in this post is not to be afraid. I’ve experienced first-hand terror, regret, and guilt for accepting someone else’s advice when it didn’t feel right for me. I’m not telling you not to listen, but maybe you should think for yourself first and rely on your right answers to guide the way. It can be a dark place to finally turn within yourself, especially if you’ve got some work to do, but nothing is darker than accepting what’s not right for you.

Last night, I had a dream I deeply didn’t understand. When I woke up, trembling in fear to decipher its meaning, I realized the only thing I needed to uncover it’s true message was some space for the details and to let my mind do its work. At first, I turned to everything outside of myself. Google, my mom, a friend, a psychic... only to realize my answers were already within. 

By the time I typed my messages, asking for help, my answers were already clear. 

There was nothing to worry about. I had it all under control. 

So, here’s what I’m presenting. Sure it’s scary to look inside yourself... especially for things you’re confused about. But, you know what’s scarier? Accepting something that you know isn’t real (or right) for you. 

Your mind can be your greatest tool and your number one ally. 

When you agree not to fear its power and own it all within, your mind begins to work for you (and not the other way around.) 

Don’t get consumed looking for answers outside yourself... because everything you need is already inside.

Happy trails,

Sarah Elle