Turning your Hopes into Expectations: How to Change your Expectations (for the better)
In light of my previous blog post, today's insight of the day comes from a deep, innate desire to see beyond past programming and ultimately open myself (and all of those who read our blog's minds) to a new level of awareness and self-actualization.
Yesterday, we spoke about the variety of different meanings that the word "expectation" carries. We dove head first into the ways our expectations can either limit us or help us flourish. And, of course, we shed light on the different areas of our life we would like to expand, in hopes of soon defining how we can change our expectations from within.
Post writing that blog post, I immediately began the next level of Research and Development for today's follow-up article
A great portion of our insights and blog posts come from a medley of deep, studious research; while the other half of our accumulation of data stems from personal and team experience.
"How to change your expectations 101? Sure, here's your lesson and what you need to know... GO!" - Life
Initially, my day looked like a set of miserable emotions mixed perfectly with some hard-engraved thoughts that went completely against my deepest hopes.
Eventually, it looked more along the lines of my own mind imposing limiting beliefs on nearly every situation that arose and my unconscious mind impending every possible doom that could potentially exist on the face of the Earth.
It taught me a great deal about how expectations work because, soon after, I realized that it was my own beliefs and hard-driven thoughts speaking loudly about what they think would happen next.
For example, I faced battle after battle in looking my beautiful friends right in the face, as every belief that surfaced stated that my friends didn't like me, they didn't want me around, and the good ol' they're going to ditch me some day for someone better... In which pointed me straight to the fact that I was expecting the worst out of my social life.
Oh... And, while that taught me One (of many) serious lessons, I was also facing the (rough) work day ahead where I was struck head-first in the same pool of negative expectations that work was going to be slow, money was going to be tight, and the (Totally) discouraging belief that my effort wasn't valued.
So, I came to a few conclusions. For one, your expectations will either present your dearest form of growth, hope, and Self-Realization. Or, it will show you the many faces of Self-sabotage, personal hell, and the darkest corners of the human psyche.
For me, my expectations were nearly 100% dedicated to self-sabotaging my efforts (and hopes) of a great, beautiful life.
Here's how I started changing that:
These are the six stages that I found were a proven method of overriding current limitations with new, positive affirmations, but also a helpful process for recognizing unconscious patterns and (what I called) invisible hostage-expectations.
What I meant by hostage expectations was the general point that most of us are chained to our victim mentality, and through our long list of subconscious projections (the way our brain is currently wired to think, see, and believe will happen in our lives) we anticipate doom in our lives... and, well... here is the way out.
Growth and Happiness, without self-awareness, do not exist. They go hand-in-hand. So, if you're invisibly suffering of limiting expectations, the first thing you have to do about it, is become aware of it.
You won't know what areas of your life you need to work on until you can see the opposing thoughts and beliefs that hold you captive. The deeper your awareness becomes (meaning, the more you can see the thoughts, emotions, and attitudes going on in your mind and body) the easier it becomes to a) unhook yourself from identifying with them, and b) start striving to re-create better expectations.
With awareness of your current state, you can see what thoughts are good and hopeful and what thoughts leave you feeling powerless, out of control, and victimized. Without that fundamental recognition of what's going on in your mind and body, you won't see what areas of your life are programmed unconsciously and you definitely won't how they affect your behaviors.
So, sometimes you just have to face it and hear what your mind is saying so you can gain a clear understanding of what your brain is currently doing.
Which brings me to stage two...
Otherwise known as dis-identification, which is the act of creating space between you and the thoughts you have, as well as no longer being unconsciously directed or controlled by your thoughts and expectations.
The moment you see or sense that you're expecting something bad to happen, you must immediately re-center yourself into understanding that you are not your thoughts and beliefs, but instead the entity that hears them.
Unhooking yourself might look more along the lines of stopping yourself in your tracks, recognizing that your brain is firing thoughts and emotions that it's been programmed to do, and most importantly - unhooking yourself is choosing not to listen to what's going on in your mind. When you can master space the between your mind and yourself, only then will you realize that your thoughts, emotions, and beliefs do not have (to have) power over you.
Affirming AND TRUE REALIZATION aRe next.
When you decide to override your current thoughts and beliefs with new, more empowering ideas, and reciting to yourself - you need to explain to yourself in a calm, positive, and hopeful manner - that that which you desire is here and that all is well.
Basically, that you don't have to panic.
No matter what that looks like for you - because the truth is we all have different hopes and dreams (everyone is going to work on different areas of their lives) the point is to calm yourself from expecting bad things to happen to you.
If you've found that work, relationships, income, health, sobriety, happiness, or whatever other aspect of life - if it is something that you want to master, you'll have to override your current expectations with new beliefs that will serve where you truly want to go. And, that demands conscious choice, at all times. Affirming new, powerful beliefs, and realizing the true power you carry in creating better.
Consciously mastering old, shitty thoughts for new, exciting, happy, and hopeful anticipations that keep you connected with your Higher Self
While these are two totally different words, they will innately go hand-in-hand when it comes to redefining new expectations. Here's why.
Once an expectation becomes set, you will feel it. For better or worse, if you're anticipating the best outcome or the scariest, you are going to feel it and you are going to train your brain to fire certain neurons. That electrical impulse that surges through your body will be the energetic pull to cause your brain to believe what you anticipate no matter what's ahead of you. When you feel something strongly enough, you "attract" it because your whole brain is firing the networks to see it.
Moreover, when you feel something so strongly, you accept it. It overwhelms your physical senses. That state of accepting something to be real is when your brain will fire so many electrical impulses that feeeeel it.... so that you can actually perceive it... and, therefore receive it.
So, in the process of defining better expectations in these areas of your life, you're going to have to play with feeeeeling these new beliefs, so that you can create the energetic surge your brain needs to perceive it in real life, and therefore receive it.
Feeeeling like your relationships are well established, feeeeeling that you are doing great in business, feeeeeeling that the world is working with you... FEEEEEELING like you f*ckin got this, babe.
Which bring me to the final two points:
Patience and repeat, baby.
It's going to take A LOT of patience, self-compassion, and love to do this. Most of us have been carrying negative expectations our whole lives. So, please, by all means, be patient with yourself, be kind, and open, and nice to yourself when you're going through the stages of releasing old limitations and opening yourself to a new paradigm.
You'll have to repeat this your whole life, actually. So, really, you do have to be patient with yourself. You'll always be facing limitations within your old programming, especially if you've been raised with limiting mentalities.
But, here's my message to you. You are not alone. The entire universe experiences your pain when you're hurting. As much as it is absolutely terrifying to search for something beyond your current shackles, you are destined for (and will find) SO MUCH GREATER than what you're presently accepting for yourself.
I promise you, through awareness, kindness, re-centering yourself, and pushing with all your energy to find that zone of positivity, you will do it.
God knows I did.
So, I hope that this lesson was useful (and extremely helpful) to all my butterflies in need. Life has put us all through tests to push us to find better things to focus on.
Focus on that which you want, feeeeeeel like you got it, unhook yourself from believing what your scared Self is telling you. Through the love you will show yourself in creating new thoughts and hopes in your mind, you will develop a new perspective of life; one that will prove that the whole Universe is conspiring to give you what you want... at all times.
I love you all so much, and please feel free to let me know what areas of your life you would like to improve.
All is well,