A letter from Self: What you needed to See
Pre-post disclaimer: I wrote this intro after completing my blog post, as a way of giving you some idea of what this post is all about.
[Today’s blog post is highly unusual. I’ve been lacking some real inspiration for a knowledgeable post over the last few days, but decided to take a different approach and offer you some insight while I find it within myself.
I’ve been reading a book the last couple days about a woman who’s learned to connect with the deep unconscious and acquire wisdom from her own engraved thoughts, while using her emotions, imagery, and thoughts as a means to decrypt her mind’s message. She taught me the art of asking questions and pondering the answers. And, while she’s stated – so many times – that it’s not about the answer, itself, I thought I’d give her basic meditation a try and share the results of my inquiry.
I call it: “A letter to Self.”
Lol. So, I hope you enjoy it, take what you need and leave the rest!
Here it goes!]
Lately, I’ve been acquiring my dream clients and circumstances. Things seem to fall perfectly in place, these days. More and more, I’m connecting with the people that fit my vision and I’m helping others answer the questions I’ve so difficultly learned. My progress, both, mentally and emotionally have skyrocketed from working with Positive Affirmations, Solution-oriented thinking and by practicing patience and cultivating joy in every moment.
I’m noticing the greatest results during the moments I’m naturally joyful and feel a heightened synchronicity for the opportunities I want. Work feels more like play, and learning has become such an exciting part of revealing aspects of Life to my mind. (…..And, just before you thought this was all running smoothly…. Here comes my big “but”) 🍑 (Ha, not that kind.)
Butttt! For some reason – though everything seems to fall perfectly in order – I’m still worried that it’s all about to end. What does that mean?
Naturally, I’m doing the mental work (and taking the right steps) to attract and create the ideas I’d like to bring to life. When I’m happy, they arrive naturally (which makes me happier…,) I act out of that heightened state and produce incredible results… and, then, out of nowhere, I start to doubt myself again.
It’s so funny because I even keep asking myself “What is there to doubt? How much more confirmation do you need? It’s all sitting there, right in front of you! You’ve literally got it all, ready to be given to you.”
I’ve imagined it, I’ve worked for it, I’m affirming to myself that I am worthy of these opportunities and I can handle them. I’ve done it all to deserve it and create it, and it’s finally here!
But… (ha, there it is again) I don’t think I quite believe it.
There it is… The big ol’ ugly truth. I said it. “I don’t believe it.”
So, due to this popular belief that “it’s not about to happen”, not only am I panicking when it comes to answering my dream prospects, I don’t even think I’m answering them confidently. I feel that my mind is so preoccupied in finding a way to conclude that “this just isn’t happening, nor does it happen for a girl like me.” I lose my (hard-earned) confidence, I go back into people-pleasing, saying what I think they want to hear instead of unapologetically offering them my unique and valuable ideas. And then, whether I do or not (in real life,) mentally, I scare them off and ultimately convince myself I’ve lost my clients (my progress, my mojo, my whatever.)
Well… I noticed it. Great. FIRST STEP.
I’ve become aware of my own tendency to self-destruct from an underlying belief that things won’t work out in my favor. HELLLLOOOOO, Victim Mentality!
But, do you experience the same thing too? Because, honestly, I’ve reached whole new levels within my life, my career, my progress and my mentality – whole new dimensions in the last few months. I’m consciously eliminating unhelpful thought patterns, releasing stress or overwhelming emotions whenever they pop-up. I’m letting go of old trigger-mentalities and I’ve built this real state of confidence that inspires me every day to go for whatever I set my mind to, and just let the fuck go of doubts I fear would stop me.
It’s gotten me exactly where I’m at. Opportunities, more doors open than I can count, real satisfaction and growth. Engagement within my community based on real, hard-earned value.
I have it all right in front me, and “I just can’t accept it for myself?!”
…Maybe that’s the belief that’s holding me back altogether. Maybe the, very, sentence I just typed was the only limitation that keeps me from fully succeeding and closing my deals (..by closing the deals, I mean achieving my goals).
Maybe, in spite of the “I AM’s that I consciously recite throughout the day, I’m forgetting to tend to the – still-there, still unconscious – “I AM NOT’s or “I CAN NOT”’s.
Is that all I’m missing? Is that what we’re all missing when we feel like giving up too soon?
I’ve come to learn (just now, actually) that it’s those quiet doubts, the slight impatience during the process, questioning the order of things that bring me the heaviest insecurity. Something as small as a fleeting thought that says “they won’t answer,” “they found someone else for the position,” or “why would I get it?” that ends up causing a butterfly effect of lower-vibration thoughts.
By ignoring the true importance of replacing a thought of such quiet magnitude, I am allowing the sacred space within my mind to become vulnerable to these doubts. By believing that thought, even for a second, I am putting myself at a lower place than I really am.
So, you know what? I’m gonna challenge that belief. Whatever it sounds like, whenever it comes up, quiet or loud; I am going to challenge the thought that it won’t work for me and replace it with a new belief that all things come to me fully, in their own timing and for the highest good of all. Not to mention, I “DO” have it all.
No more lacking patience during the process. No more doubting my capacity to produce real, meaningful, and lasting results. No more believing that someone else can do what I do better than me. I have something unique to offer and, as I cultivate that place of unshakeable confidence, I will respond to every calling and opportunity as best as I can. From a place of truth, authenticity, and belief in myself, I am unveiling a part of my potential that the world, out there, is asking for.
By feeding my new thoughts with positive energy, supporting this new belief, I am heightening my vibration, aligning myself with my own Highest outcome and giving a perfect part of myself to an opportunity in need.
Now, look. I don’t normally write like this, nor is this my basic approach to blogging. But, sometimes, by writing out what’s going through my mind, sharing what’s happening in my life, and allowing that space in my mind to let loose and roam free; I’m sharing a part of who I am that someone, who will find it, may need. By freeing myself from the fear of judgement, I can open up to who I really am and connect to a part of myself that is no longer confined by insecurity.
Through this, I’m showing up as the highest version of myself, in this moment. Whether I’m going through a challenge, facing an obstacle in my own journey, or meeting a part of myself I’ve never had the courage to face; I’m inspiring you to do the same.
So, these words are just words. But, my message is clear.
If you have anything that is stopping you, holding you back – either mentally or physically, (spiritually, or whatever) – I want you to see it as it is. Notice it (without judgement) as a belief is no longer serving where you want to go.
Where do you want to go? What do you want to achieve? How will you get there?
Now, what parts of yourself must you continue to release in order to create enough space for a higher version of yourself to emerge? I had to let go of my inability to accept what I want in life, even after proving myself and working so hard to achieve it.
What are you holding onto that isn’t letting you grasp something bigger?
When you find it, think of new ways to believe in accepting what you really want.
When you find it, it will never hold power over you again.
I’m encouraging you to look.
Live in light, live in love.
All my love,